Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
When you`re out & your cell battery is low: 1) lower screen brightness 2) turn off WiFi 3) crawl under table 4) weep softly til help arrives
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.