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If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
This day needs more tomfoolery!
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.