Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.