Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
If A-B-C-D didnβt drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldnβt have to be so rushed.
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
I get so tired of the same old BS...canΒ΄t I get a little BS variety?
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.