Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.