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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?