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To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.