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you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried to nail JELL-O to a tree.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.