Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.