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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.