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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)