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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
Dear Fox news,I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Happiness comes from within. That`s why it always feels so good to fart.