Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat ... and taking the tartar sauce with you.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
We all make mistakes .... I just do it better than everyone else.
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.