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The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
I had a doctors appointment today. He said I was normal! See? I told you!!!
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?