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I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box