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I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone