Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
I saw Tom Hanks and asked for his autograph. He abbreviated it, and it just said "Thanks"