Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Couch pillows are really just fart silencers.
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.