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Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.