Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.