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I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
If I ask my dad to take a picture of me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling "It`s the button on the left!"
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
I`m sorry, I`ll be busy this weekend walking around my house with mini alcohol bottles and fun size candy bars pretending I`m a giant.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.