Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
is trying to decide ... laundry today or naked tomorrow
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.