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A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
Insert coin to view my status message.
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.