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A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!