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I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
Finally down to my pre-pregnancy/pre-kids weight...well...before my wife had kids I mean.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
I have a black belt in leather
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.