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There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk