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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands