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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
I glued the TV remote to my wife. I`m expecting her to go missing any second now.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." Iยดm pretty surprised "yell for help" wasnยดt one of them.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.