Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.
“I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.