Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
I might enjoy work more if at the end of the day I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about