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People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they`d leave that one on too.
Me: Where can I find the milk? Her: Sir, this is a library. Me: *whispers* Sorry, where can I find the milk?
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.