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When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Sober me makes plans and drunk me cancels them. Its a good system.
Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
I don’t need your attitude. The voices in my head are enough
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)