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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
I`m perfect you adjust.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?