Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
I`m only 2 girls short of a threesome.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.