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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.