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I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.