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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"