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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.