Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
I saw a cool bumper sticker on a back of a SUV . . . “Do you follow Jesus this close?”
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)