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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
I once peed a girl`s name in the snow, so don`t fcuking tell me I don`t know romance.
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you