Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.