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Whenever I see someone in a Smart Car, I expect to see a kid with a remote control nearby.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...