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Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza.
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.