Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
What if the weather talks about us?
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?