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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.