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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".