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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
At night I dump massive amounts of Legos on the floor in case anyone tries to rob my house bare footed.