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Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time