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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!