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Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.