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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...